what i really meant to blog about

so over the past few days i've been meaning to blog about something. i forgot about it in my last post earlier today. as you can guess, since i am now unemployed, i'm going to have a lot more time on my hands for things like blogging. but maybe 2 posts a day is pushing it.

anyway, i've had an interesting/terrifying dream life as of late. i hate it hate it HATE IT when people share with me their dreams, because most of the time i can't see how it relates to anything. if your dream was random, well, cool, i guess, but do you really need to spend 15 minutes explaining it to me when i have no idea what your talking about or it isn't connected to anything? anyway... my dreams have had a common theme to them recently. i guess when i say "recently" i'll come clean with you and just say that i've had 2 similar dreams in the past month, which isn't even that big a deal, but due to the content it's been a little disturbing that i had more than one of them...

in my first one, i was on a train. not a passenger train, but a freight train on a flatbed cart. the tracks ran through the middle of a city and were elevated about 50 feet in the air. to my left and right were train tracks elevated 80 or so feet in the air, with trains moving in the same direction but at varying speeds. i knew i wasn't supposed to be on the train, but i didn't know where to go: it's elevated and going 90 mph. i look to my left and see the train on the tracks above me going faster than the one i'm on, and on the back of it i realize, with a rising horror, that there's a woman who's hung herself connected to the last track.

her rope is long, so she's flailing wildly on the back of this super fast train. she's in a white night gown, with red hair, but i can't see her face. i look up ahead and see a bridge the train is going to go under. i mutter under my breath, "no, no, noooo....!" but it's no use. her body flaps into the side of the bridge with a horrible splatting sound. she remains connected to the rope, but more limp than before. out of her clothing, white papers fly everywhere. i know without seeing what's written on them that they're suicide notes.

i make my way around the train and find that it's got cages full of women on the carts. these women are going to be sold in human trafficking businesses. i know this without hearing it, i just know it. some of the women have escaped the cages, but only so that they could follow suit of the red haired girl. all around me i start to see more and more women who have hung themselves, all swaying and rocking in motion to the fast moving train.



skip ahead a few weeks to last night.

my dream is animated, like a Japanese cartoon. people are throwing themselves into traffic. everywhere. there is blood everywhere. everywhere. blood. everywhere. people just keep running into busses and cars by the masses.



so what's this all about, anyway? what's going on? what is my "subconscious" (hahaha) trying to tell me in all this? am i suicidal? am i sick? twisted? i dunno, am i?

to be fair, though, yesterday i watched a great Japanese animated film called "Paprika", and there is a scene where people try to kill themselves, so maybe last night's suicide-capade had something to do with that...

and speaking of suicide, i just watched a great Japanese horror film involving the subject called "Pulse". it was made in 2001, when we Americans were making shit horror films such as "Bones" starring Snoop Dogg.

America :-P

Japan

in "Pulse", Kiyoshi Kurosawa (writer) explores human curiosity, loneliness, isolation, despair, suicide, and death. he puts a slow pace to the movie, but adds a sense of iriness and creepiness that is compounded by the music, direction, acting, and cinematography that American films have simply almost NEVER been able to master, let alone ATTEMPT. now "Bones", well... ok I haven't seen "Bones" but com'on, look at it. who in their right mind WOULD like to see a horror film with the tagline "Unleash the Dogg"? would someone please forbid movies like this from ever happening?

ok, this post has gone on long enough and i've said all i have to say. take care of yourselves, all, and remember: most of the time, almost every other country is better at making movies and music than America. if you don't believe me, you haven't been culturing yourself enough.

with that pretentiousness out of the way, i'm out.

corbin